Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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