The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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