why didn't you poke me back
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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