My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We're using joints as your birthday candles
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
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