just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
