Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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