I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
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When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
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the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me