I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
