I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
These 25 People Believed Fake Facts For Way Too Long
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.