4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i need some magic done to my vagina
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.