Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
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