Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize