Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
bring money and cleavage
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize