The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
he fucked my hip out of place.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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