i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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