Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
