apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize