I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
