At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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