Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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