Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and she was petting her beer can
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Randomize