hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
