If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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