My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
