What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
