If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
