oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
