I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
