Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
