that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
