It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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