he puts the penis in happiness.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
