how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Michael Bay diarrhea
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
