I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
