Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
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