8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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