I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I love you.
Bad choice
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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