Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
we should paint friendship bongs
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