He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
