Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
