go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Pooping to opera.
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