Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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