i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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