It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
it's not cheating when I paid for it
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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