His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
