we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
