i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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