What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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