felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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