My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
