after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
