Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
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