Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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