I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
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He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
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It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize