i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
