Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Randomize