I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize
