He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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