The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
