Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
