Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
