Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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