honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
