you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
