dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
