All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
