so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
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Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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