i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
