you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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