My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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