How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
